What’s the show? Haikyu!!
Hmm, two exclamation marks… does that mean this is the second season? No, it’s just, okay I don’t know why they decided to stylise this with two exclamation marks but unlike other anime that add another exclamation mark to denote and differentiate a second season from a first this is assuredly a first season.
‘Kay… So what’s it about? Men’s high school volleyball.
Right. And why are you watching it? Your interests tend to be of the ‘cute girl’ persuasion. I don’t know, it’s highly acclaimed or something…
Why do I get the feeling you’re reviewing this under duress? It’s not like that, well, not exactly. I do admit a passing curiosity for highly rated anime, even if they are literally at the opposite end of my interest spectrum.
You don’t like sport? I like going to the Dentist more than I like sport, I like family gatherings with racist old people more than I like sport, I like stubbing my toe in the middle of the night so hard I think I’ve died more than I like sport.
Okay, I get it you really don’t like sport. Good, just so you know where I stand on the subject.
Loud and clear. So I take it this is a negative review. Ehhhhh, no, actually. *whispers* the show’s actually pretty damn good.
What’s this?! Shut up, I’m a deep and complex individual; I’m allowed to like things that I thought I wouldn’t.
No you’re not, you’re a pervert. So what gives? So like the writing in this show is really good, and it’s really funny and the characters are all unique and charming and charismatic in their own special way, plus it’s well animated…
That’s great, you’re broadening your horizons! BUT I DON’T WANT TO LIKE IT!
My god, you’re such an insufferable child. Just accept it and move on. I think you underestimate how much I hate sport.
No, no, I get it. So are we going to actually go into any detail about the show? Volleyball. High school boys. Underdogs. Ambitions. Ego. Teamwork. Camaraderie. Trying your best. Training. Defeat. Victory. Fight! Fight! Fight!
And the characters? Umm… Short ginger, good at fast… grumpy genius, team player need much. And the rest… bald and hyper… coachy mc coachface… grey haired one my irl waifu likes too much… blonde tall glasses… freckles mcgee… another short one and old young wuss brute… that’s all of them right?
This is really hurting you isn’t it? Please, I need my cute girls; all this testosterone is doing a number on my libido. Quick! Give me 50cc’s of ‘Yuru Yuri’, stat!
No! We’re seeing this through ‘til the end, whether it kills you. Rest assured it’s killing me, on my death certificate it will read ‘Cause of Death: Cute Girl Deprivation’.
What about the team’s manager, she’s a cute girl right? But a small refuge amidst an ocean of dick.
Now now, no need to be crude. What say you in conclusion? Haikyu’s good, great at times even. It’s not for me, that is for damn sure, but regardless of that I would definitely recommend the show to almost anyone. Most of the match’s go on too long but that’s of virtue of it being a faithful manga adaptation, personally I would have preferred it be 20 instead of 25 episodes but I’m probably in the minority with that opinion. And even with those ‘flaws’ considered it’s still worth a watch, even for the most ardent sports hater. It may not be an ace but it sure isn’t a foul, 79 out of 100.
Now, was that so hard? Maybe we can incorporate more of these sport anime’s into your roster of reviews in the future! Quick! I need a fix of cute girls, stat! Pump them directly into my veins, I’ll take whatever you’ve got, I’ll even settle for the cheap shit, yeah that’s right Kemono Friends will tide me over ‘til I get some of the real stuff.
Or not… My god, this has got to be your worst review ever. That’s not a question by the way, that is a fact. Ah… mmm, cute girls take away the images of all those sweaty sport boys… yeah that’s the stuff right there…